Sail Away

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Posts by Sail Away

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  13

  We all "shun."

  by stillin in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  an old friend of mine committed suicide this week.

  he was a great guy; pleasant to be around, a hard worker, kind.

  everybody at work liked him.. then something changed.

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  Sail Away

  Stillin, I'm terribly sorry for the loss of your friend, first to addiction and then to suicide. As you said, sometimes the only thing we can do is distance ourselves from toxic behaviors. I struggle with this in my family of origin. When I left the organization, I tried to re-establish communication and build relationships in my non-JW family. It just wasn't possible. There was a reason I chose a cult over family in my early teens, and nothing has changed. Please don't blame yourself.
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  6

  DNS Issue (Problem Accessing Site)

  by Simon in

  1. forum
  2. announcements

  if anyone had any issues accessing the site over the last 24 hours or so, i finally tracked it down to a dns issue that was affecting users of google dns in certain zones.

  the issue was caused by a rouge dnssec entry left by the registrar (godaddy) when they did an update which caused some dns lookups to fail.. hopefully it should be fixed now but may take a while to ripple through to everyone due to caching..

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  Sail Away

  Now able to log in from Connecticut, USA. Thanks, Simon!
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  9

  Just deleted all elders phone numbers

  by Chook in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  flying blind on the incoming calls but i am not fearfully looking around and will approach any religious zealots like a warrior.

  there nothing like the unpredictable, because these men it's all about the prediction..

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  Sail Away

  I deleted all JW contact info and blocked them all from my Facebook account. I just didn't want to see their names anymore. I've never regretted it for a second.
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  29

  Lying In Wait At a Bed & Breakfast

  by Cold Steel in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  a few years ago while traveling in the northeast, my wife and i stopped in new haven, connecticut, at a b&b we'd reserved for the night.

  no sooner had we unpacked and moved into the living room for tea and treats, our hosts began to talk about religion, and we learned they were jehovah's witnesses.

  i didn't mind so much, but my wife was outraged that our hosts would use their place of business as a launching point to do missionary work.

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  Sail Away

  Cold Steel, I think I may know this couple-- sent you a PM!
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  8

  Saw a great therapist and was diagnosed with post traumatic stress. Any one else?

  by Beachlover in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i took your advise and found someone who could help and was diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder and anxiety.

  has anyone else been this route and have some positive feedback or been thru this?.

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  Sail Away

  Beachlover, a sailor and beach lover here too!

  I have been diagnosed with and treated for generalized anxiety disorder, severe recurrent clinical depression and PTSD since the early '90s. The tipping point was a bad car accident in which I was driving and my kids were in the car. I clearly had all of these conditions before the accident, but as a believing JW, they went untreated. I guess I was supposed to wait until the "New System" to recover from child sexual abuse and the fallout from the abuse from a psychotic Mom and an alcoholic father. The nightmares about torture in concentration camps, rape and torture in Malawi and the fiery execution at Armageddon of all of my non-believing family members were just icing on the cake.

  I was in and out of therapy and on psych meds for two decades with little to no improvement. I now know that there is no way a therapist can help you without full disclosure. The elders had instructed me to not speak to my therapist about "spiritual matters". I should only speak to them about such things. I would say that I was a JW, but that religion was not up for discussion. I tied their hands behind their backs.

  The organization, its policies, procedures, practices and teachings pushed me to the brink in early 2011. I walked away on July 3, 2011. I walked away a believer expecting to be destroyed by God.

  A few months later I found jwfacts.com and read Crisis of Conscience and The God Delusion by Richard Dawkins. That is when my healing began. I have been off of all psych meds for over a year now. I still see my Buddhist Psychologist weekly. His approach is different than many traditional therapists, but it resonates with me.

  This is what helped:

  Dialectical Behavioral Therapy to help me learn communication and life skills I never learned in my 42 years as a JW. Health insurances in the U.S. usually pay for this evidence-based therapy.

  Studying, practicing and now teaching evidence-based tai chi and qigong including sitting, standing and lying down meditation.

  Mindfulness-based Stress Reduction

  I am now training to be a (secular) Mindfulness Meditation teacher based on techniques of Minfulness-based Cognitive Therapy. You can read about the program here:

  https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/1609618955/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1471897618&sr=8-1&pi=SY200_QL40&keywords=mindfulness+finding+peace+in+a+frantic+world&dpPl=1&dpID=41V9Ds-LbpL&ref=plSrch

  Free online meditations for the program are here:

  http://franticworld.com/free-meditations-from-mindfulness/

  I meet weekly with my Insight Meditation Society meditation group. The teacher has a Zen Buddhism background which I find interesting and helpful. It's a great place to meet people who offer kind support.

  I'm sorry it took me so long to get back to you. I wanted to take the time to give a well thought-out answer. For me working with the mind-body connection was key. Even when triggered, I haven't dissociated in years.

  Wishing you peace and wellness,

  Diane
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  27

  My Lawyers Letter To The Elders

  by pale.emperor in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  for those of you that asked, below is a copy of my solicitors letter to the elders in my old congregation.

  he sent a similar one directly to bethel and a medical directive to my daughters gp to go on her medical records that i have already given permission for her to have a blood transfusion should she need one:.

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  Sail Away

  Gayle
  The couple cases I know from long ago, that the individuals then were never announced 'on the platform' as "disfellowshipped, disassociated." Though, they were 'off the record' df'd, at least some family members and a few friends felt they could be free to talk with ex-member yet because of no announcement

  I sent in a letter of resignation nearly a year ago now and threatened a lawsuit if they announced anything from the platform. They didn’t make an announcement because the local JWs still greet me in public. I walked away just over 5 years ago, and the elders know why.
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  27

  My Lawyers Letter To The Elders

  by pale.emperor in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  for those of you that asked, below is a copy of my solicitors letter to the elders in my old congregation.

  he sent a similar one directly to bethel and a medical directive to my daughters gp to go on her medical records that i have already given permission for her to have a blood transfusion should she need one:.

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  Sail Away

  No Apologies

  I think some of you are way overreacting to that picture. Apparently you never read comic books as a kid or watched any action or sci-fi movies. I can assure you I was exposed to the Paradise book, the Live Forever book, etc. and somehow I survived. Just saying

  I was exposed to the same, had nightmares for decades and was later diagnosed with PTSD. A child who is taught that their unbelieving family members will be destroyed by God at Armageddon is being abused. End of discussion.
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  10

  A conversation with my ultra dub relative

  by joe134cd in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  here's a conversation i just had with my relative a few minutes ago i'll let you decide.. relative : would you like to read your grandfather the days txt (she passes joe the phone).

  joe : sure.

  (then proceed to read it to my grandfather and explain it).. after discussing the points joe says to relative.. hey what's the story arnt they printing books any more.. relative : no they arnt necessary any more.. joe : really why is that.. relative : it's all on line.

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  Sail Away

  I was called out from the platform during the WT study for reading from and commenting based on a printout of scriptural references. I did this from the WT Library CD ROM just over 5 years ago. What does a lowly "sister" know anyway.Grrrr!
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  15

  What's your passion???

  by Faith after Deception in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  yesterday, i was feeling very blue.

  this is quite unusual for me, as i tend to be quite an upbeat, positive person, so spells of sadness or depression take me by surprise and are a real shock to the system.

  you know, i don’t believe in “putting on a face” or pretending to be ok; this “fake it ’til you make it” malarkey has never been something i’ve liked.

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  Sail Away

  Faith after Deception, I'm so happy that you have singing to pull you out of the doldrums! It's fantastic you can share your passion with your husband. And yes, The WTB$ does suck the joy out of life!

  My passions, not necessarily in order of highest interest, are hanging with my little dog, sailing/teaching couples sailing with Mr. Sail Away, world travel and family visits, practicing and teaching evidenced-based tai chi and qigong and studying secular Buddhism and mindfulness meditation. I am starting a year-long Mindfulness Teacher Training program in September.
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  83

  As a Matter of Conscience, I Am Resigning from the Christian Congregation of Jehovah's Witnesses

  by Sail Away in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  after listening to the hearings of the australian royal commission into institutional responses to child sexual abuse, i am no longer content to have simply walked away from the organization.

  as a matter of conscience, i do not want my name linked with the organization in any way.

  i know this letter has been posted previously, and i thank the author.

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  Sail Away

  DarkKnight, please let us know how that conversation goes.

  Wishing you freedom,

  Diane